You Don't Care

any suggestions for songs that  are all about waiting for someone and then finally getting to be with them

songs like teleport a & b by the spill canvas except maybe more optimistic.

i want to make a mix to listen to on a plane ride to california to be with my boyfriend
suggestions?

So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. And we're going to have to work at this every day. But I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day.

yesterday asian craig celebrated a first.... congrats to him

read
hardball by chris matthews
galapagos by kurt vonnegut
dune.

or w/e
k thx

dear journal

i'd like to feel like i can live up to everything you make me out to be .
i wish i could be the person you believe in.
the beautiful girl who says everything right.
i'd love to be that for you.
i'd love to be everything for you.
more than any of it .
i just want to be there for you.
there with you.
like you deserve.
instead of here confused not knowing what or who i am to everyone around me.
you are the only part of my life that i am sure about.
that tomorrow you will still be there telling me you love me.
that from your lips i'll never hear "i dont know"
because you are always sure of yourself.
always sure of us.
so why do i behave the way i do.

i don't know.

honestly.
nicole Pc is happy.

5


Ten feet tall at five feet flat
They talk about you behind your back

Its ridicule with love

Because that makes it easier to take

Lets start from the top with the hair that you over process

Past the eyes glazed over as you take this speech

Lets assume youre promiscuity based on the color of eyeliner you chose to wear

Hey just in case you didnt notice when you looked in the mirror, you have bad skin and you are getting a little heavy.

Just wanting to let you know because I love you.

Just wanting to help with everything but your confidence.

I have noticed you dont try anymore.

Dont worry I am not going to ask if anything is wrong.

Just point it out.

Out, Out, Outside.

You used to be beautiful.

In, In, Inside.

That is not at all what I was referring to.

With that figure, not from my side of the family of course and that attitude of yours I think you made need psychological assistance.

But first a makeover.

Top to Bottom.

Bottom to To Top

Public Humiliation will be the least of your problems once you learn how to properly apply a smile.

Start from the bottom to the top holding the applicator just so.

Make sure to wear colors that compliment your skin.

Skin S-k-IN.

Inside.

What does it matter , youre a fall not a summer.

Leaves fall, you fall.

They will fall for you and your blonde hair blue eyes.

Five feet flat.

its a portfolio piece and id like some folks to review please and thank you.

I want to spend all my happy endings with you

gen got me addicted.

Dear friends,
Let us discuss my life as of late

a)i brought in pi and am now passing math
b)i lost a bus drawing competition
c) i saw my dearest bf and we spent quality loving one another time together .... then he went home for a million years because that is what always happen then i cry and am unhappy for weeks to come
d)i got a sweet haircut that i like and you will too i am sure
e)i had meatball subs yesterday for lunch
f) i was the only one who celebrated literary circle appreciation day
g)christos is angry with me
h)i forgot the letter that comes after g for a second... then i wrote sex two  three four times cuz obviously i just wanna do'it
i) my lovely dinosaurface brought me to macaroni grill and we ate food and were the cutest people on the planet for about 19 sexonds.... i keep doing that 
j)it is saint patricks day i am not irish and i intend to work and possibly two person party it up with the lesbian leprechaun
k)billy is a stealing jerk .....i wrote a very sexual second rough draft for this year which i will soon post as a friend only entry because occasionally certain people read this
l)l is for lindsay... lindsay the lesbian.... lindsay the lesbian leprechaun.....loser
m) i dance to rap music sometimes
n) N IS FOR NICOLE >>>>that is me.
o) christos has a girlfriend her name is kelsey and i haven't mentioned them in my journal yet so now i have.... moving on
p) the point of that was to inform you that christos is leading an exciting life now and i still think he is a jerk for not asking me to semi that time when he was definitely supposed to because we are friends and it would have been an enjoyable time .... 
q) is for fighting
r) check up on it
s) is for kristin bouchard   masacring us all
t) IS FOR NINJA

other letters.

 

 

p.s. i am not really happy....i promise

I want to be the girl you thought you could never believe in

Who you told yourself time and time again it was over with

The girl who you can't trust but can't forget

I want to be the one who you hurt

The one who hurts you

And every second we are together I want you to believe

I am cabable of being yours.

I have had terrible valentines days before.
today pretty much out did any of them.
you are all well aware that my boyfriend lives far away
so ya that sucks about every day.
but today i was told to expect something amazing because he had "planned real hard" waiting all day for something amazing to happen i received only the earrings i have wanted for quite some time now. excited about that i was still slightly confused because i was told the best would come in the night time. well ya that whole thing was a lie... he said all of it so i wouldnt catch on that he was getting the earrings that i expected. so instead he made me think i was getting something special and unexpected. dumb me thought maybe that he would come since i couldnt think of anything better than the earrings. well after finding out i had gotten my hopes up like my i sat in my car and cried for a good 20 minutes , then went home and cried myself to sleep. sure i absolutely love the earrings but here is the funny part right now.... THEY FUCKING BROKE. and my mom said i could bring them to walmart to be fixed... with what money? so yep.... all in all valentines day blew. i still like that boy like mad. but i swear to god anyone who tells me to get excited should realize i either get not excited or too excited. its always been that way. dont get my hopees up.

I'm too scared to cry

And I'm too hurt to smile

 

maybe it is because i believe in the unbelievable.

at least one of us does.

 

 

 

i watch cheesy romance movies and cry cuz im never gonna be loved like that
even though ive been told it doesnt exist
i bet it does cuz whoever writes it is pretty good at convincing me

i cry because im happy
i cry because im lonely

i cry atleast once a day

taking showers or baths ...makes me cry

and sometimes i like it
and sometimes when i wake up at 3 in the morning balling my eyes out.
i hate it .

and i would like very much right now to be cuddlesleeping and watching a good romance movie.

or kill bill.

how can we be different
we are both equally lost.

Ok.

This is me and the boy.

You know the one.

The one I declared love for in the entry I deleted.

Well here is a functioning us picture.

Because pretty much we are adorable.

p.s. I was half asleep

p.p.s you know he must be incredible if  i am wearing no makeup in this picture

p.p.p.s he's hairy... i don't mind at all.

p.p.p.p.s. dinosaurs.

Let us discuss the depths of a person
The internal workings of a friend
What makes an enemy

Let us discuss the concept of loneliness
The silence within a crowd
What makes companionship